Wedding planning

Who NOT to invite to your Cincinnati wedding, that is the question! Few issues cause more friction in the wedding planning process than the guest list. Here is some wedding guest list advice to simplify the process.

Wedding guest list anguish takes many forms:

—> Your budget is limited, so you can’t afford to invite everybody you’d like to.

—> Your parents want you to invite people you don’t know very well.

—> Your future in-laws want to invite more people on their side of the family than yours.

—> Which co-workers get invited, and who doesn’t make the cut?

–-> You feel guilted into inviting someone who you know will be disruptive. (Watch video below!)

You get the idea.  There are landmines everywhere.  I’d like to tell you that I can help you avoid each one.  I can’t.  Each situation is different. Nonetheless, you can minimize anxiety if you take our wedding guest list advice.

Wedding guest list advice

Tip #1:  Pay for the wedding yourself. When you’re footing the bill, you have more clout on who gets an invitation. [According to Wedding Wire, the average millennial couple pays for 40% of the wedding budget themselves.]

Tip #2:  Set a budget and your guest list size.  Since so many couples have their parents pay for most or a portion of the cost of a wedding, try to lock in a pretty firm guest list number so you know what you’re dealing with.  Best to start low, because the number will surely grow.

Tip #3:  Develop a ‘family formula’ for divvying up the list.  It might be as simple as a third of the guest list comes from your friends as a couple; a third from the groom’s family; and a third from the bride’s family.  Obviously, this formula won’t work for everyone.  The idea, though, is to establish a formula right for your situation on the front end to minimize wrangling down the road.

If you’re paying for the wedding, the formula might be half for you, with the remaining guest list split between the two families.

Will all parties stick to the formula?  Probably not, but you’re no worse off than if you didn’t establish a formula, and you’re probably going to be way ahead by doing so.

Tip #4:  Categorize potential invitees.  This can be rather fun.  The fun comes in the way you describe your categories.

How to categorize your guest list

I recommend 4 categories, perhaps something like this:

CATEGORY A (the “My Favorite People in the world” category)

CATEGORY B (the “People who mean a lot to me, and I mean a lot to them” category)

CATEGORY C (the “People I really do want to invite, but then I’ll feel guilty if I don’t invite a mutual friend/co-worker ” category)

CATEGORY D (“People I really don’t want to invite, but there will be hell to pay if I don’t” category)

Categorizing helps focus your thinking.  Ultimately, the power of the purse tends to finalize who in each category gets an invite. For example, one bride bristled when her parents invited a couple they were friends with, whom the daughter never liked.  The daughter fumed,

“Mrs. Smith called me fat when I was thirteen! I refuse to have her at my wedding!”

The mother shot back,

“Listen honey, they’re friends of ours and we see them almost every week.  Yes, that was a jerky thing for her to say, but that was 10 years ago. Time to move on.  We’re paying for the wedding.  She’s coming.”

Tip #5:  Don’t tack on the words “and guest” to your single friends unless they’re in a longterm relationship.  Think about it, how would you like to cut someone from the first three categories above and replace them with a stranger you may never see again in your life?  End of story. Right?

How to handle audacious invitees

Well, not quite.  Some of your more audacious friends may take it upon themselves to add on the words “and guest” anyway when they send the RSVP back.  Be prepared.  Write back immediately something like this:

“Anne, I’m so delighted you’ll be able to attend my wedding.  That means so much to me!  I’m sorry to say, though, that we simply don’t have the space to accommodate your guest.  I wish it were different, but it’s just the reality of planning a wedding.  I’ll tell you more about it next time I see you. I’m so excited about this day. Thank-you for coming!”

Then there is the timeless question of children: do you invite them or not?  This is such a highly charged subject that we’ve already written an entire blogpost on the subject.  Go back and check it out!

I hope you find this basic wedding guest list advice helpful, and congratulations on your engagement.  As you work through the planning process, remember that entertainment makes the event.  Check out our wedding entertainment services today.  We would be honored to show those guests who “make the cut” how much fun a wedding can be!

 

Would you like to have a celebrity wedding?

Think twice about that. Just because celebrities have money doesn’t mean that they have any taste. As evidence, just watch the video above which showcases the 10 ugliest celebrity wedding dresses EVER!

What a waste of money!

The typical bride has to deal with reality, a limited budget. Here’s the good news. You can celebrate like a celebrity without spending buckets of money. In fact, you’ve probably got more taste than a whole lot of celebrities.

No where is your taste more on display than with the entertainment. Entertainment makes the event. We can taylor the entertainment to suit your personality, your sense of style, and your taste. And packages can be customized to fit your budget.

Forget about a celebrity wedding!

When you think about it, weddings are really about families and friends who love you and want to share in your celebration. There’s no need to try to impress people who really care about you with a wedding dress you can’t afford.

Instead, throw a great party you CAN afford, and entertainment makes the party.

Forget about a celebrity wedding. Make your celebration distinctly you with customized entertainment from Queen City DJs. Check out our wedding planning tools to get started now.

Celebrity marriages don’t always work out so well. So celebrity marriage advice is always a little suspect. But it can be so much fun!

For us ‘little people,’ there are still some nuggets of wisdom worth considering from these larger than life figures. Or at the very least, we’ll get a good laugh.

The notorious actress and sex symbol, Mae West, offered profound advice to future wives:

“Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.”

Comedienne Phyllis Diller’s advice was totally practical:

“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”

The 18th century German satirist, Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, provides ‘snarky’ advice, to use a 21st century word:

“Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.”

Which leads us to Marilyn Monroe’s advice posted above:

“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I’m out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Everyone is flawed. Everyone is going to have their moments with their spouse. That’s when love actually flourishes, for love isn’t a just feeling. If it were merely a feeling, it could never last.

Love is choice.

It’s a choice to mend fences, even when the love of your life is difficult to handle and you don’t feel like mending fences.

When you hit a rough patch in your relationship like everyone else in recorded history has, you might take some advice from the wisest man who ever lived, according to the Old Testament of the Bible, King Solomon. Writing in the The Book of Proverbs, his advice still resonates three thousand years later:

“He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”

“He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

In other words, guard your relationship by controlling your tongue! Now that’s a celebrity worth listening to!

Ready for more advice? Check out our event planning tools. They make wedding planning so easy.

Get ready for controversy: babies at weddings.

Your friendships are about to be tested.  If you’re prepared, you can minimize the damage.

I refer, of course, to that timeless issue of whether or not to let your friends bring their babies to your Cincinnati area wedding.

You face two scenarios when it comes to babies at weddings

SCENARIO #1:  The sweet little things alternate between cooing and napping during your ceremony.

SCENARIO #2:  The little monsters scream to high heaven throughout the wedding ceremony.  You have to ask the officiant to repeat the vows a second and a third time before you can hear them over the din.  All of this is captured by your wedding videographer forever, and we haven’t even gotten to the reception yet!

Whew!

Okay … scenario #1 is the likely outcome.  Scenario #2 seldom happens, meaning infrequently or almost never.

But sometimes it does.

Here’s what to do:  you know your friends with babies.  Are they reasonable when it comes to their kids?  If their baby/infant/toddler gets fussy during the ceremony, will they discreetly step out to avoid disrupting your event?  Or are they the type that believes the world revolves them, their needs, their convenience, and their kids, who by the way, can do no wrong?

If you expect scenario #1, invite away, but if  not, don’t.

If in doubt, simply remember that this is your day, not theirs.

Most people do view marriage as a community celebration

Many brides and grooms love inviting families, complete with their kids.  Wonderful.  But you don’t have to.

Some brides recognize unique situations.  For example, if guests make a trek in from out of town, it may be tough for them to find someone to come in for the weekend to watch the kid(s), especially if a mother is still nursing her baby.

If you’re willing to include children for these reasons, you might want to make arrangements for a side room with childcare in case your guests would rather park their kids than tend to them during either the ceremony or reception.

If you make the decision that you do not want children, do so with this understanding:

1. It is perfectly just, moral, and practical.
2. You may have a friend/family member ask for an exception.

When sending out invitations, simply address it to the person who is invited:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

or…

Bobbi-Jean Smith & Guest

If kids are welcome, you’ll simply address the invitation as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith & Family.

If babies and kids are not invited, inevitably, your friend, Bobbi-Jean, is going to give you a call with this request:

“Say … you wouldn’t mind if I brought little Clarabelle, would you?”

This is key:  know exactly what you want.  Have a prepared response rehearsed and ready to go.

If you’re willing to make exceptions, then life is simple.  You’ll use Response #1:

RESPONSE #1:  “For you, of course.  Little Clarabelle is such a lovely little doll.  Would you like me to make arrangements for a side room and child care to give you more flexibility during the ceremony and/or reception?”

What if you don’t want babies at your wedding? Say this…

If you really don’t want babies, infants, or children at your ceremony or reception, you’ll want to use something more along the lines of Response #2:

RESPONSE #2:  “You know, we really looked at this closely with our Wedding Planner.  She really encouraged us to keep the event adults only, and we’re taking her advice.  [But she had a great suggestion.  She said if any of our guests wanted to bring kids, we can make arrangements for a side room and provide a list of reputable child care providers for those parents interested in the service.  Would you like me to forward you the list?]”

If you really don’t want to mess with around with kids, only use the first two sentences above and lop off the section in brackets.

If you have a particularly persistent friend or family member, you know, the type who begs:

“Pleeez … couldn’t you make a teeny weeny exception for my sweet little Clarabelle.  She won’t make a peep.  You’ll never know she was there.  Pleeez, pretty pleeeeez”…

… be strong.

Stand your ground.

Calmly and without apology, simply say:

“I understand, Bobbi-Jean, but the answer is no.  We have intentionally planned for an all-adult wedding celebration, and we’re going to stick with our plan.”

You may have a better way to say it.  If yes, think it through and be ready in case you’re put in the uncomfortable situation described above.

Remember, this is YOUR wedding.

Okay, are you ready to sketch out your Cincinnati event? We’ve got the tools right here. Simply complete the contact form, and we’ll provide the logins which give you full access to all of our tools without obligation.